Speaker 1: 0:36

Welcome back to Speak Out Standout. I'm Elizabeth Green, and today's guest is Cara Tarell. Cara is a Vermont-based early childhood educator, a collaborative parenting coach and the founder of Core 4 Parenting. She is the passionate mastermind behind the collaborative parenting methodology a birth to five, soul and science-based framework that empowers parents to maximize their child's early learning while raising fantastic human beings who succeed in school and life and isn't that what every single parent aims to do? So I'm super excited to have you here, Cara, and to learn more about how we can empower our children and empower ourselves. So thanks for being here.

Speaker 2: 1:15

Oh, I am so excited for this conversation. Thanks, Elizabeth.

Speaker 1: 1:18

So, Cara, before we kind of dive into what we really want to talk about today, tell us a little bit. How did you become this parenting expert? What led you down that path?

Speaker 2: 1:28

Well, I self-described as a lifetime lover of littles, so I've essentially been training for this my whole life.

Speaker 2: 1:35

I also, in my childhood perspective, was unfairly a only child, so I had nobody else in the house with me, so I went searching for kids wherever I could, and that led me to education.

Speaker 2: 1:52

And so I followed my path and I became a teacher and in the preschool and kindergarten spaces I just felt really aligned with these kids. But I also felt like I wasn't serving them completely because I was a little bit hemmed by what I was allowed to do in the public school system and I knew that these kids were just coming, not 100% ready to learn, because their ABCs in one, two, three colors and numbers didn't really matter as much as could they socially and emotionally connect with other kids, Could they interpersonally understand how to do a given take between a teacher and a student and could they control their bodies and feel really comfortable inside them instead of using them to communicate their frustrations. And so that's what led me to blend my science background and my educational background with this sole concept that when we create a relationship where we're collaborating with children, we are actually opening the door for them to become lifelong learners and be excited about always being part of that process.

Speaker 1: 3:04

I was, literally before we hopped on here having a conversation with my mom and was just telling her about a class I just wrapped up and the kids were so excited and at the end they were like we had fun, we want to take more classes with you all and all of this, and it's like that's what learning is supposed to be. That's what it is, until we stifle it a lot of times in systematic ways. So I'm excited to talk about this and also I just want to ask you you said something, too, that my friends and I have been mulling over lately to you. I feel like those are the things that we used to learn in kindergarten, the things you're saying that kids should learn how to do. I mean, I remember when my first was preparing to go to kindergarten and I was like wait, he's supposed to learn how to read already. I thought that's what y'all were going to teach him. Is it just me, or have expectations definitely changed in the past 30 plus years? Not?

Speaker 2: 3:50

just you, and it was kind of like. It was kind of like a secret, right. They changed the expectations, but they didn't tell anybody. And not only did they not tell anybody all of a sudden, but parents are smart, though, and so they caught on and they said oh, this is my job, this is what I'm supposed to do. Is I am a good mom, I am a good dad If I send my child to kindergarten knowing their ABCs, 123 scholars and numbers check? I did it. And then they would get frustrated because their child was being told you know, you do know these things, but here's where you're struggling.

Speaker 2: 4:28

So, yeah, you are 100% right that it used to be that preschool focused on these interpersonal skills, and then kindergarten is where, cognitively, we know, scientifically, they're ready. They're ready now to absorb information, to retain information and to use it in a scaffolded way so that they can move forward with curricula. So it's really challenging, and, you know, one of the things we're going to talk a little bit about today is the COVID generation. Those kids are not anywhere near ready, and the expectations have, once again, not changed. So two facts that will just blow everybody's mind, but it's important to know 85% of foundational brain growth is done by the age of five. So the literal size of your child's brain, 85% of it, is there by the age of five, which means those neural pathways and those belief systems and those cause effect pieces that they believe to be so true are there. Then, on the other side, 40% of kids four out of 10 incoming kindergartners are actually testing as ready to be there. So we are digging ourselves a big hole and the hole is going to get bigger.

Speaker 2: 5:54

And if we don't fill that gap before we ask these kids to meet requirements, that is only because they're five years old. It's their chronological age. You must be able to handle this. We are going to find ourselves in a big, big problem.

Speaker 1: 6:11

And it also sets them up for failure. You know, I mean, I feel like, if that's such a pivotal point too for them to learn that learning, not to learn that learning is fun, it is already fun for them at that point, but to continue to be fun and exciting is something they want to participate in. So, so much going on there, and especially the COVID thing. There's such a kink in things. So let's I'm excited to talk about this standards are standards, right. We can't, we can't change them at this point, right. It is what, what is expected, how we deal with it, though, right, and how we parent, we can control. So, in my well, let me just say, when we say who are the COVID generation, you know in action, well, I'm. I feel like you tell me if I'm wrong I feel like all kids in school are the COVID generation in some ways.

Speaker 1: 7:03

My son was going through the transition from elementary school to middle school during COVID, and so when it all ended and he was in middle school, it was like it was, like it was supposed to know all these things and be responsible in the ways that they would have taught them in those years, and it didn't really happen because of COVID. So is it are all kids the COVID generation? I mean, no, we think of the little ones right that were home during all of this. But what is that? What does that mean when we say COVID generation?

Speaker 2: 7:28

That's a fantastic question. So they're actually. You're right in that. So there's two answers. One is the technical definition of these kids who are going to be labeled Gen C, right, the COVID generation, oh, is that what it's called?

Speaker 1: 7:42

Yeah, oh, I've never heard this before. Oh my goodness, yeah, oh, wow, okay, sorry, keep going. I didn't use my mind with that. I didn't know there was a name for it, but now I know.

Speaker 2: 7:50

So these kids are right now between one and six years old and the reason that they are defined as such is that they were going through that five year 85% brain growth burst during that time period. So, yes, they are early years affected. However, you are also correct in that every student, regardless of their age or grade level, the world hit pause on their learning and development opportunities. Wherever they were. It hit pause and they now have to recover those systems, recover how to be that social person who can take on the job of self advocacy and say I actually don't understand what you're talking about and I need your help because I missed some really important pieces along the way. The problem is with kids like yours, they're already in such a wild evolution of self development hormonally they don't have that self awareness. They don't have the presence of mind or the language to say can you just hold on a second, prof, I'm having a moment and I need your help. Yeah, so we have to be aware.

Speaker 2: 9:18

As parents, we have to take stock of exactly what you just said. When COVID happened, my child was at this age and let's add three years to that and talk about what you missed during that time frame. And maybe it wasn't a ton. I've talked to parents who said do you know what Our mini pods actually enhanced my child's social, emotional learning? And they are now going back to a system where they have upleveled. Now, what about the cognition right? What about the core curricula that they missed? Yeah, they have to make some of that up, but they're doing okay on this side.

Speaker 2: 10:00

So, yes, the COVID generation is real and they are our tinies. Yes, everybody has been affected. But this really brings us back to the humanist of it that as parents, it's our job to be so aware of who our children are that we say I know you so well that I imagine this part of post pandemic living is really hard for you. So I'm going to give you a little extra boost where you need it here. You're such. You've always been someone who I had one of these. You've always been someone who struggles to stand up and say to your teacher I didn't get that or I need help. So you've always been a quieter observer, more introspective kiddo. So if you struggle, please come to me so that I can bridge that gap for you. Help you write an email that makes sense.

Speaker 2: 10:58

Teach you ways that feel comfortable, so that you're confident communicating what you need to others now.

Speaker 1: 11:07

And to point out to you you're not saying so I can do it for you, so I can fix it for you, which I think is often our instinct. Sometimes it's like, well, it's just easier if I just do it right. Sometimes we feel that way, but also we're protective and mama bear is a phrase for a reason and so oftentimes I think we feel like we need to fix things or do it for them instead of, like you said, bridge the gap and teach them how to advocate for themselves in those moments, which is so crucial. That's a skill that they certainly need, you know, because they're going to need it in life.

Speaker 2: 11:40

Yeah, and that's the thing. These are life skills. Right, knowing what year World War One started is far less important than knowing how to say this test wasn't my best work. I think it's because I didn't understand what was going on in class last week, but I didn't say anything not to my mom, not to my teacher, not to my friend and then going inward again and saying, okay, let me reassess Next time. I'm feeling like this is a struggle. What's a new strategy that I could use and I can try? I am all about kids owning what they can and coming to us when they feel like they need support, because they trust us not to problem solve, but be collaborative, and that's where my collaborative parenting methodology comes from. What do we want from our teenagers more than anything in the whole wide world?

Speaker 1: 12:43

We want them to be kind, self-sufficient people.

Speaker 2: 12:46

And tell us anything.

Speaker 1: 12:48

Yes, of course.

Speaker 2: 12:50

We want that open communication, tell, we want them to tell us anything, which means they have to trust that we're not just going to jump in and solve it for them.

Speaker 2: 12:58

We have to trust that they're going to be heard, listened to, talked with not to invited to come up with potential solutions and then allow us on the journey with them, and they're also going to be willing to listen to our ideas and say that's actually a really good idea. Yeah, I'll try that. That's collaboration, that's teamwork, that's what we do as adults in the corporate world. That's what we do with our partners when we're struggling to solve something. And I teach parents how to do this with their kids as early as the toddler years, because when you win those toddler years, you're already set up for the teenage years.

Speaker 1: 13:44

So I've said this to so many of my guests lately, but I wish I would have met you so many years ago. Right, whenever we're struggling and just muddling through and trying to find the things that work. So if you're listening and you're at that stage too and you're like, well, my kids aren't toddlers anymore, we can still do it. Right, if your kids aren't toddlers, fantastic, start now. But if not, we can still do it. We can still make this impact on our kids. So one of your things that you talk about is five executive functioning skills that kids need to have in order to reach their milestones right? So just kind of jumping right into that what are these skills and how in the world do we help implement them in our children?

Speaker 2: 14:28

Yeah. So let me just say before I jump into them that a lot of them are counterintuitive to the way that the world works right now, which is really hard as a parent, because if you are so, the first one is waiting. The first one is delayed gratification, the ability to know that you have started the ball rolling on something but you're not going to get an answer right away. I'm dealing with this right now with my 18 year old, who's applying to college, and she just wants to know the answer. Yesterday and she said four to six weeks. I have to wait. It's just so frustrating for her.

Speaker 2: 15:12

But this idea that we can calm ourselves and know that we can wait for an answer or a solution to show up is something we have to do as adults, and it starts when we are children and, of course, we live in an instant gratification world. So the more tech they use at every age and stage, the more we are telling, training their neural system you immediately get this hit, you immediately get some dopamine, you immediately get some serotonin. I will keep you happy every single solitary second, and then they go out into the real world and that's just not the way it is. The waiting is the first one.

Speaker 1: 16:01

And I feel like that maybe wasn't something that we necessarily had to be taught when we were kids, because that was the way of the world. If you had a friend who moved away and you wanted to communicate with them, you wrote letters and you'd send a letter and it would take days and then wait for the response back. Or if you wanted to buy something, you had to wait until somebody would take you to the store to do it. And now it's like you said everything from social media and the internet, finding out information immediately, or same day deliveries on things. I want this. I mean, I get it. It's going to be here today. So you're right, it is a skill that has to actually be taught, which is so backwards.

Speaker 2: 16:40

Even Google think about it. Kids as young as nine have a question. They want the answer. They don't go search for the answer, they don't wait and see if it pops into their head. They don't ask some friends and get their opinions. They take 0.3 milliseconds. Ask the great Google and they have an answer. They are immediately getting their problems solved, and this is problematic as we move forward Now as a parent. Here's what I'm going to tell you. If you say, okay, I'm committed to teaching my child how to wait, you have to be prepared for their reaction when you draw the line. They're not going to be thrilled about it. They will give you pushback. So that's why I teach what I call my parenting. Why, and for each family this is very personal and we write a personalized parenting mission statement, and if this is a core value that matters to you, then you know why you are saying yes, you may have a phone, but when you are 14. Right?

Speaker 1: 17:45

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 17:46

I had this sweet kid at the youth group. He looked at me the other day and he said, yes, what? And I said what? And he said I am so excited I'm getting a phone with restrictions and my heart was so happy, oh, he's just excited about the positive part of it for him.

Speaker 1: 18:07

That's great. When I was going to ask you what is an example of teaching our kids waiting skills and obviously the phone is such a common one and one of those things that we constantly have in our conversations with our kids and all that, so I think that was a great one. Is there any other examples off the top of your head that we could? Because the phone is a one and done, right, yes, you can wait until this, until you're turning this age, whatever age we agree on. What other ways can we teach waiting in, just like our regular lives?

Speaker 2: 18:36

Well, I mean, I don't want to harbor on the media too much, but I feel like television is a great one. I have kids all the families I work with all the time that say you know, my kids seem to be in a habit. As soon as we get home from school, they just say, oh, can I turn on the TV? Or oh, can I watch a show. And I feel like that's a great opportunity to say yes, but not until after, so it's still within the same day and you're not saying no. I love saying yes and and then giving the caveat Just after dinner, after bath or, even better yet, setting that time aside that they always know is the time they're allowed to have that show and saying, hmm, we don't watch that until these things are done, because actually we're tagging into another one of my executive functioning skills, which is time management.

Speaker 1: 19:30

Oh yes.

Speaker 2: 19:32

And if you are able to say to yourself okay, this is something I want. I'm not going to get it right now, but I am going to after I prioritize my time and do these three things, you are somebody who is able to think as you grow up about setting a goal and what do I have to do first to achieve it? And should I do the hard thing first or the easy thing first?

Speaker 1: 20:00

And is there a correct answer on that the hard thing first or the easy thing first? If you have a list of three things that you have to do to achieve your goal, or is it just, does it make a difference? Does achieving one easy thing help you go on to the harder things?

Speaker 2: 20:15

I think it entirely depends on who you are. Personally, I'm a high achiever and I internally motivate right. I have this internal motivation to succeed and I'm great at making my lists and knowing that I need to get them all done in order to reach that goal. However, I have another kiddo who's a very extrinsic motivator. She needs something from the outside getting her to get going and then helping her stay in motion to get those things done. And so if that's who you are and you know that about yourself or you know that about your child, then I absolutely think you have them do the hard thing first, because then the next things that they do feel better to them and they're more motivated to keep going.

Speaker 1: 21:03

Okay, that makes sense, and do you have any other examples for us about ways to instill time management in those kids besides with the TV example? I think is great you can watch TV after you do these things but any other examples that we could think, oh yeah, that's easy enough, I can do this today with my kids.

Speaker 2: 21:21

So something that I love. I call it my three step plan, my mini plan I love. So if your child has to get something done, or if you have somewhere you need to be like you're trying to get out of the door, ask them what are the three things that you think that we need to get done before we leave. Ask them to use their prefrontal cortex right to get that executive functioning gears going so that they're like oh wait, I know I'm going to need a backpack, I know I need my lunch. There was something else. Oh right, I need sneakers for Jim today.

Speaker 2: 21:59

And then they're able to sit back at you and you're like great, what do you think you should do? First, what do you think you should do second, what do you think you'll do? Third, go get those things done. And the more that you practice that with them, the more it becomes a self talk habit where they bump up against something and they're struggling and maybe you're not around, maybe they're at school and they think I forgot my shoes for Jim today. What will I do? Right? And now they're like oh wait, let me think if I can come up with three things that would help me solve this problem.

Speaker 1: 22:38

Yeah, Besides, just call mom, which obviously is one of the solutions, but the fallback right.

Speaker 2: 22:47

What do you do?

Speaker 2: 22:49

I've had this many times with my child was a big forgetter of snow boots in Vermont here. Right, what do you do? And I mean, I'm a big free like you, get one free pass. That's what I used to say. You get one free pass. And if this, if that happened again during the same week, I would say this is a natural consequence to you not managing your time well in the morning and planning. Therefore, you will have to wait until you get home. Organize your life so that tomorrow you have them with you.

Speaker 1: 23:20

And it sounds, I mean, it makes perfect sense. It sounds so simple. In the moment it's so hard because we just want to fix things, to go back to that right, but it is so important that we're thinking through these things and giving them opportunities to learn from their mistakes, because how else are they going to learn? So so, waiting and time management those are two of our executive functions and great examples of ways we can teach them. What else do we have on the list of things that they really need to know?

Speaker 2: 23:49

Emotional regulation. It is key and it is not something that is taught per se. It should be and it can be, but it's not something that's on our radar as parents to teach. We model it, whether we're modeling it in a positive way or we're modeling it in an explosive way. Either way, our kids are getting a message, because kids learn from every single interaction they have with people that have relationships with, whether that is.

Speaker 2: 24:26

I just learned that my mom had a really long, hard day and she came home and she said it out loud Today was really long and really hard, and I don't have a lot of patience left, so I'm just telling everybody that right now I'm going to try my best to stay in control, but if I lose it, that's why that is self-awareness and regulation and then forecasting it for your family. That is one way. The other way is to hold it in and then explode on your family and they go what the heck's wrong with mom today? I don't understand. I didn't actually do anything. I just put my plate in this spot instead of this spot and boof. There she went. That was your last straw.

Speaker 2: 25:15

Emotional regulation is really important and it's a core piece of the curriculum that I teach with parents who have tiniest. It's not impossible to overcome that barrier once your child gets older, but I will say they have strong belief systems in place. When I feel this way, this is what I do. We'll just have to reteach some of those. They also have a lot of increased hormonal activity going on. Sometimes it's hard to get through that barrier, depending on the day, but knowing how to calm yourself when you get into an emotional heightened state is a really important skill to have as a human being at every single age For sure.

Speaker 1: 26:09

Just like the old adage, they don't learn from what you say, they learn from what you do. If we want them to be able to show emotional restraint when they're feeling upset, the only way they're going to learn that is by watching us, I say this all the time I grew up hearing do as I say, not as I do.

Speaker 2: 26:28

Oh right, that's it, that's it. But, it doesn't work. Doesn't work. I say do as I do and I'll learn to do better.

Speaker 1: 26:37

Oh, I like that, I like that, all of you.

Speaker 2: 26:39

Because here's the deal with emotions, and we know this is adults. We say you can't hold them up, you can't bottle them in or else you explode. Emotions have to move, they are energy and they move through your body. And if you don't move them through in a way that makes sense is when you get physical, specifically children, kids who don't have the presence of mind to understand how to label the emotion. Which one is this? I don't. I'm feeling something, but I don't even know what to call it and I can't talk about it. And if I can't talk about it then I'll just hit my friend.

Speaker 1: 27:21

So in that suggestion, in that situation, do you suggest that we are assuming? I see that you seem to be feeling frustrated or are you feeling frustrated? Is there a better way to go about it? And helping them label those emotions, because we know that's so crucial too?

Speaker 2: 27:38

Yeah, we can start by assuming, but always asking for input. So I prefer it looks like or it sounds like, because then I'm mirroring for them. It looks like your body is out of control right now. You must be feeling something really really big. Is it anger? You tell me what you think it is. Is it frustration? Is it overwhelm? Give them a few, because you really want their emotional vocabulary to grow. Kids can't believe. The only three emotions in the world are happy, mad and sad. They need to know there's more.

Speaker 1: 28:14

Yeah, all right, that's great, all right. So, moving on to our fourth one, I'm taking notes as we go. These are all fantastic things. Even as a parent of a teen, these are still. These are fantastic things. So what is another skill or function that we need to help our kids be equipped with?

Speaker 2: 28:31

We need flexible thinking. Flexible thinking is hard. Yes, right, this morning it happened to me I couldn't find my shoes. I knew I walked in the house with them on my feet last night, so they had to be somewhere in the building. My husband went on the hunt. I went on the hunt, nobody found the shoes. And I was just so frustrated and the back of my brain I was saying to myself just wear different pair of shoes, right, right, be flexible, be flexible. But I was so stuck on this result. I did eventually wear another pair of shoes, yay me.

Speaker 2: 29:13

But this ability to flex is so important and kids going through massive moments of development tend to not want to think that way. I describe it as the more out of control we feel, the more control we take. Toddlers do that and teenagers do that, right, yeah. So teaching them that there's more than one way to solve something, or there's more than one way to get where we're going. Sometimes I'll do that Because I'll have kids in the back seat and they'll say to me this isn't the way to the school. I'll say did you know? There's lots of ways to get to the school Today I'm trying this way. I thought it would be interesting. Oh look, we've never seen that before. Giving them the opportunities to think flexibly when it's not about something they care deeply about allows you the space to then get in there when it is something they care deeply about and say this maybe will happen the way you want it to and it maybe won't.

Speaker 2: 30:28

I'm dealing with this right now with my girl. My 18-year-old is going to Japan. She's moving and she's going to be in a pair for a family over there, and can she get a visa? That's the bigger question, and so we're working on it and I said you need to think about best case, worst case and possible. Worst case is this all goes without a hitch. Worst case is you go for 90 days, come home and then we get your visa In the middle. You'll figure it out as you go. It's hard for her. She wants all the answers right now Right, but she's got to think flexibly because the world is not black and white.

Speaker 1: 31:11

I think that's such an important skill too, as we grow to be adults in the ways that we think about ideas and concepts and our beliefs and all of those things we have to be willing to accept. There are other ways, like you said, other potential options, other ideas, other thoughts, all of those things. And if we don't learn that, like you said, about the things that are minor to us, then were we ever going to be able to accept that with things that we feel passionate about?

Speaker 2: 31:38

And when you look at it like in a social psychology space, that bigger picture. If we learn to be flexible thinkers from a young age, we are more able to be empathetic and compassionate to others who think differently than we do. It's okay that you believe something that I don't believe. We can still be friends and we can still enjoy each other.

Speaker 1: 32:02

And likely better problem solvers too. Right, because they're willing to look for more avenues than just the one that was in front of them directly. Yeah, absolutely, that's a great tip.

Speaker 2: 32:13

And again you go to school and then they tell you there's one way to solve the math problem and you're like wait a minute? I just figured it out this way. I'm with that kid, by the way.

Speaker 1: 32:21

Oh, yes, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 32:25

In the public school anymore for about 12 reasons. That's wonderful, yes.

Speaker 1: 32:31

I know exactly what you're saying there. We're in the process of doing those things as well, of figuring out the one way that is supposedly accepted when we are trying to teach our kids otherwise. So that's funny. So these have been great. So we've got one more. What is the one other that you suggest that you think we really have to focus on when our kiddos are young, so that they're equipped to be adults?

Speaker 2: 32:52

So this one wraps them all together, and this is a highly defined sense of self, because every child is a unique human being, and we know this and we say this, but we don't tend to apply it to the situations in the world. So we want our kids to know who they are. So, from the earliest days, I teach parents how to observe their children's natural characteristics and abilities that are just so easy for them. Right, oh, here's my social butterfly. And teach your child You're someone who really likes to be around other people. When we go out in the world, you're always making new friends. You're never afraid to say hello to people. Teach them who they are. I also teach them how to observe what their child is not so naturally gifted at, socially and emotionally, and work with them that way too. So the opposite of that kid was my Velcro child, who was literally attached to my body in one way or another for the first 10 years of her life the one, by the way, who's going to Japan. So I did my job.

Speaker 1: 34:08

Oh, you did an amazing job.

Speaker 2: 34:11

And I would say to her when we're going somewhere today and there's going to be a lot of people and I know that doesn't feel good to your body it's fine if you want to stay close to me, but today let's see if we can keep one fingertip of space between us. And then the next time let's see if we can keep one fist of space between us and slowly evolve her comfort level and her world, because that's something she was going to need to do on her own when I wasn't there.

Speaker 1: 34:46

I think that, overall, though, in order for us to teach these things to our kids and I think these are fantastic ideas and milestones that we want to reach with them we have to be aware of them and ourselves, because so often in the moment it's like well, we're going to be going here, you got to go there regardless, deal with it, kind of thing. We would say that to the kids, but sometimes our frustrations can just get into where they take over and we're like why can't you just be comfortable in that situation but really starting to dig more into it and realizing they're just a different person Just because I'm comfortable in that situation doesn't mean anybody else's. They're different, unique, individual people and building on their strengths and improving their weaknesses I don't know if weakness is the right word, but their struggles is so crucial.

Speaker 2: 35:36

It is, and practicing that, being an acute observer allows you actually to do a lot of self-reflection and introspection. I tell people your kids are not carbon copies of you. They go wow, you're right. I just oh, she has my nose, she has his ears. We immediately start with that, from the minute they're born. Be a detective, be curious about who your child really is and you will find out so much more about who you really are.

Speaker 2: 36:11

If you do this within the comfort of your own home, it's big work. It's parenting, personal development. But you've got to do it there, otherwise, when you go outside of your home and you parent in public, it's all going to fall apart Because the world is going to be very, very quick to tell you well, my kid potty trained in three days and my kid had no trouble sleeping since five weeks old. And you sit there and if you're not very strong in who am I, I'm learning who my child is and I know what my core family values are and who it is I want to raise and what skills I want to teach them. It's really easy to get talked off the ledge?

Speaker 1: 36:53

Yeah for sure. Well, Kara, I think this has been tremendously helpful, and you do coaching, and there's lots of different ways that people can engage with you through social media and your website and work with you, but you also have a freebie right that people can go to your website and get some more information. Tell us a little bit about that.

Speaker 2: 37:12

Yeah, so I do tend to work with people who have younger kids, and not that I can't work with people that are older. But if you're listening and you have a plethora of children and some of them are toddlers and tantrumming, grab my freebie it's called Five Mindful Mantras for Managing Toddler Meltdowns and I help you come back to center so that you can help your child come back to center and then process what happened.

Speaker 1: 37:39

I love it. Well, again, you've been tremendous. These are fantastic tips and I'm sure people are going to want to connect with you. So if we will link to everything in the show notes, so it's easy to find Kara's social media accounts on her website and the freebie and all of that. So, again, really appreciate your time and this insight. It is extremely helpful and, like I said, as a mom of a tween and a teen, I've gleaned a lot from this already that I can start incorporating in my life. Wish I would have known when they were toddlers, but can certainly start with now. So thank you again for your expertise.