Speaker 1: 0:36

Welcome back to Speak Out Standout. I'm Elizabeth Green and today with us we have Shruti Kumar. Shruti is an international lawyer turned full-time parent coach. Two very different paths career path so I'm excited to learn more about that. She's also a mom of two and she works with parents to help us parent intentionally so that we can raise resilient kids through connection, joy and empathy. So, shruti, we're super excited to have you here today and to learn more from you. Thanks for your time today.

Speaker 2: 1:05

Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited too.

Speaker 1: 1:09

Well, first and foremost, I had to ask international lawyer, full-time parent coach, both extremely respectful or respectable jobs, both very much needed, but two very different ends of the spectrum. How did you go from one to the other so?

Speaker 2: 1:24

I think it was 2019. Towards the end of the year, my boss got diagnosed with a burnout and she quit her practice and it was going well and I really love working as an international lawyer. But then, as COVID started, I was at home with my daughter all the time and then I understood that this is hard. Like even before, I was working from home, so I used to spend a lot of time with her, but I was also pregnant with my second child, so obviously, like I had hormones raging and I would sometimes snap and I would yell and I would lose my cool because there was no way for me to fill my cup.

Speaker 2: 2:09

And after my son was born, I kind of noticed a shift in her behaviors and I also noticed that there was some kind of distance between us. Like she was kind of defying everything, doing the opposite of what we would ask her to do, and it was extremely hard because, as it is for guilty, that I'm not able to spend as much time with her. And then I noticed all these behaviors. So I was really concerned about where this is going. Like the few minutes we get together we are fighting or we are arguing about something. So it didn't feel good, like I could identify that things that I never thought would come out of my mouth would come. I would say those things and then I would go to bed feeling extremely guilty and that's when I decided that okay, this is not okay. I want to understand what is happening for her and how can I support her through this. And also, why am I showing up the way I am showing up? Why am I so reactive right now? Of course I was exhausted. I was sleep deprived and also, if I look at it, it was a huge change for her to have a sibling and then she started school that year. So it was like her world completely changed. So she was extremely loving to him. She never harmed him or anything, but, yes, with us.

Speaker 2: 3:28

I noticed that shift and I did not want to have a disconnected relationship. I wanted to have a loving relationship with her, and that's how I worked with the coach myself and then I studied to become one, because I thought that I wish I had, I was taught all these skills in school or something, so that I wouldn't struggle so much with my own reactivity, my own default patterns, my own triggers. I had, like no way to manage them. So even I was aware of them, but, like I didn't know how to calm myself when I was triggered. So I think awareness really helps.

Speaker 2: 4:07

So that's how I moved from being a lawyer and I found my passion in this, because I truly believe that we can transform the world by transforming how we parent, because it is the most important job in the world. It's extremely hard and it's really important to be intentional about this, because these are the future leaders, right, these are the future adults. So, right, yeah, so we carry like a responsibility to be to do this well. So that's how I thought like you know, a lot of us are kind of parenting on autopilot. We are not really thinking, we're just, like you know, going, going with the flow, so, and sometimes we are not mindful, and I feel like I can truly support families, at least around me, and build a community for parents who feel unsupported. So that is what, that is what I really enjoy doing now and that's how I made that shift, yeah, so COVID changed things for me.

Speaker 1: 5:06

I think it did for so many people me as well, that's whenever I made my shift as well, and I think it's what you said is everybody, I think every parent, especially moms, go to bed and it's, if not every night, but it oftentimes thinking oh, why did I do that, why did I raise my voice? But I lose my temper and then we're just in survival mode, especially when they're little, right, it's like you said, you know we're parenting with lack of sleep and not feeding ourselves well and all of that definitely not filling our cups. So we're just kind of in survival mode. And that when does that change? You know, like if it doesn't change, if we don't make that change as our kids get a little bit older and we're able to step back a little bit from being in survival mode of parents, newborns and things, so what you're doing is completely needed. So, and there's so many women out there I know that are grateful for you and what you do, thank you.

Speaker 1: 5:57

Well, and today we're talking about your specific goals and ideas for parents to instill strong communication skills in our kids and in our, in just our lives in general. Right, but definitely building that in our kids, like what you said, our motto in our business, where we teach, speech and debate, is creating self confidence, one voice at a time, creating self confidence in our future. One voice at a time because they are absolutely going to be Be the making all the decisions before we know it. So how, how do we do that? I mean, it's very easy to say, let me be mindful, I'm going to be more intentional. How can we actually do those things?

Speaker 2: 6:39

Okay.

Speaker 2: 6:40

So that's a really good question. And so, as you know, because you work with this, communication is a really important tool and it kind of impacts every aspect of our lives and every relationship in our life. It is one of those tools that when we use it well, it can create great connection and understanding. But when we are not mindful it can create distance and misunderstanding. So that's why I'm really excited to unpack communication with you.

Speaker 2: 7:10

So when I work with parents, I often, like the parents I work with, tell me that my child just doesn't listen. Often that is the case because we kind of we kind of confuse listening with compliance and I mean, if you tell your child that come on, let's just eat some chocolate and watch a movie, you think your child won't listen. I highly doubt that. So most of the times, like, children are kind of sometimes distracted, they're too focused on what they're doing and sometimes we are also kind of lacking patience. We are screaming from another room and it doesn't reach them. So why I'm sharing about listening is because sincere, empathetic listening is showing someone that you truly care and you want to know what they're talking about and what they're feeling and you want to kind of understand their inner world. So listening kind of builds trust, it allows for mutual understanding, it creates connection and it kind of helps us avoid miscommunication. So the goal of communication, in my view, is to truly connect and to understand. And often in the parent-child dynamic, what happens is that we kind of, because we love our children so much, we are so protective of them, we assume the role of a fixer. So because we are so focused on fixing and protecting our kids, we are sometimes not listening to them, and that's why it is. And, like you said that it is nice to say that, yeah, we have to be mindful in our communication. But how do we do that? Because it does sound wonderful, but it is extremely hard to listen for a lot of us because our lives are busy and we have things to do, we have place to be, we have obligations, we have long to-do lists.

Speaker 2: 9:02

So it's very important to be intentional about it. Like, first of all, can we slow down and show up and commit to maybe setting aside sometime during the day to just listen to our children, where we are not talking? Like, sometimes I have to do this while I'm listening to my child because I mean, I don't know if a lot of people notice. But we all interrupt, like, because obviously our kids' brains they're not that developed yet. Their brains work much slower than us, so it takes them time to process what their feelings are, what their emotions are, what their desires are or what is happening for them and we are in a rush. So it's important, first of all, to be intentional about it. We need to slow down and maybe, if it is really hard for us, start with two minutes a day. Two minutes, I'm just going to let my child speak and not interrupt any like, not even once, right, so that can be one way. And the second thing is to kind of move away from the role of a fixer, because I'll give you an example If our child comes to us and says that you know, my friends really dislike me, nobody wants to play with me at school, we feel bad for them, right, and we immediately go into. But Chloe plays with you, don't feel sad, everyone loves you. So it's very well intended.

Speaker 2: 10:30

But the thing is that the child doesn't feel seen when we do this, because we are focused on fixing, right, so we are kind of denying or dismissing their experience, right. So this can sometimes escalate the problem, because the child may not want to communicate with you because they will feel like my parent doesn't get me, right. So it also teaches them to not know what their feelings are and not to trust them. Right, like they wouldn't. They might feel like, okay, maybe it's just in my head, right, like a lot of us grown up adults sometimes do that. It's just a phase that I'm going through. We don't even recognize that we're completely burnt out or we really need help right now. So the right kind of listening can help our children divulge what's going on their minds now and also in the future.

Speaker 2: 11:19

So, and the thing is that often children are only wanting to kind of unpack what's on their heads and their hearts, right, and they're not looking for a solution. They're kind of looking for a sounding board, right, they want a safe space where they will be accepted for who they are. They won't be judged, right. So, and children don't want to talk when they don't feel understood, because they'll feel like I'm going to get a lecture or someone is going to come and invalidate my feelings. Right, we are in trouble. A lot of us don't go to our parents because you know we probably will be shut down or told that you know, be grateful. So that's like dismissing a child's feelings, right? So if, when it feels safe to talk to someone, we often have that one friend right when we are in stress, we can call because we know that this feels like a safe space, because this person feels like he understands me or gets me, so I can kind of talk here.

Speaker 2: 12:21

So. So I think communication begins with listening. That's the most important part of communication and I think that would be a tool that I can share for the parents who are listening to this, that it's really important to listen intently and also try our very best to not interrupt. So you know, because there are two kinds of listening, so there is active listening and there is reflective listening, and we are not looking for perfection, because we are not going to do this right every day because life happens, but we are trying to be intentional and committing to showing up right Like, okay, I'm going to try this, I'm going to try this for a week, I'm going to try my best to not interrupt and even if we do, we are not like shaming ourselves for it, but we are just noticing our urges to interrupt each time, right? So active listening is essentially listening without giving our evaluation or judgment on what we just heard, but just kind of acknowledging what we heard.

Speaker 2: 13:29

And then reflective listening is maybe sharing the essence of what we heard, just to let the speaker know that we got what you're trying to say. Right, we got it because sometimes, like when I come down and let's say, the dishes are not done, I am Brooding and I'm saying that if I don't do the dishes, nobody will do the dishes right, and and then you know it will go in that direction where my husband will say, but I do so many other things, but the essence is lost, right Like Because I did not communicate it well and he did not receive it well, because I went from a space of attacking him Because I was feeling helpless. So it's also important how we communicate. So I wanted to begin with why listening is so important and so, yes, reflective listening also kind of helps a child feel seen, heard and appreciated, right Like in the example that I gave you. If you can say, okay, so how does that make you feel? Like that could be a question when, when you, you know, when your friends don't play with you. So that's where, that's where we are giving them room to share their inner world with us.

Speaker 2: 14:41

So, and the next important aspect of communication, according to me, is empathy. It's like Super integral for effective communication, because if I let this tub my toe and Somebody tells me, oh, you're okay, you know, be happy that it wasn't, you didn't get hurt very badly, I'll be probably really annoyed. Yeah, I want someone to kind of match with me. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me because I mean, that's not what I'm looking for. I'm looking for empathy. That ouch, that hurts, Are you okay? Like kind of matching our children in there in in their intensity? So? So that is what I mean by empathy, like where we are kind of Not feeling for them but feeling with them. That, ah, that sucks. So Because how our kids feel Affect their behavior. If you're not feeling good, then we are not behaving well either.

Speaker 2: 15:40

So how can we build empathy in our children is by giving their feelings a name, because a lot of the time, while kids are developed enough to feel all the feelings, they're not there yet. They don't know how to regulate their feelings yet because, as I said, their brains are developing in the first two, three decades of their lives. So it's, it's a skill. It's like learning to ride a bike, right, but because they're so big, sometimes we assume that you know they should know this. But it is, it is. It is hard for them. And empathy is essentially our ability to Attune to our own inner world and name our feelings and needs. And so when we name our feelings and needs, it kind of strengthens the Emotional processing centers in our brains. And when we meet our children with empathy, we are strengthening, strengthening their emotional regulators in their brains. So if we want our children to be emotionally mature, we just meet them with Affirmation, validation and understanding of their inner world and not with judgment, for example, and I feel like so.

Speaker 2: 16:50

So nonviolent communication is is something where they talk about Observation versus evaluation, and when I started that it really felt so challenging. Like often when we go to a messy room, our first Instinct is to say you know how badly you've kept your room? It's so messy. We live in a pigsty right. So these are all evaluation statements. They may be true for you, but the.

Speaker 2: 17:16

So what I learned in not with nonviolent communication is that we just Say what we see, we just describe it right, like the clothes are on the floor it kind of Probably gives. First of all it's not attacking and also the child kind of has an opportunity to come up with a solution. Okay, I put it in the laundry basket, we give them room. But when we go with the water messy room it's often kind of backfires. So it's important to observe and not evaluate. So it's it's like one of those corpillers. So there are four corpillers in nonviolent communication.

Speaker 2: 17:54

So this is the one that I think I struggle with the most, because if I come downstairs and I see a kitchen full of dishes everywhere, like I will be saying thing, it is very hard for me to just not evaluate. So but, as I said, it's like a lot of baby steps we have to make, because all through our lives we have been so used to talking like this and that's how our children also learn, because we are modeling that for them. So it's very important to be very objective and neutral, which sometimes, as humans, is very hard, especially when we are feeling big feelings ourselves. So, for example, often I catch myself in the morning saying that when my daughter is like whining about everything, I don't want to go to school, I can't get ready, I often feel that I need to stop complaining. We do this every day. You've got to stay up late. Now you should, and you know you've got you woke up late and you should be grateful. You'll be late for school. So we all go into this lecture mode. But imagine how it would feel for her if I say that, yes, I hear you, you wish you could sleep for longer, or you know, I wish that too, maybe one day in you and I will just sleep in the morning and not go to work, and it is time to get ready for school. So should we hop like bunnies or slither like snakes? So I am kind of meeting her where she's at. I'm adding playfulness because that's age appropriate for where she's, at which there is more room for her to invite cooperation. But when I go into the stop complaining, stop whining we kind of get into this power struggle where we are both just stuck. She's seeing the same thing, I'm seeing the same thing, with just higher and higher intensity.

Speaker 2: 19:47

So empathy can often diffuse a lot of situations, like if a child goes into a shop and says I want that toy and you don't want to buy that toy. You can empathize with them and grant them their feelings in wishes. You really wish you had that toy. How about we put it on your wish list? When it's your birthday we can revisit whether you still need it and then we can buy it for you. So it's not like you have to give in to everything the child is asking for, but you're kind of empathizing with what their need and wants are, at least in fantasy or something.

Speaker 2: 20:22

If my daughter wakes up with I want to eat chocolate for breakfast, I would say wow, yeah, that would be awesome if we could just wake up in Candy Land and eat chocolate all day. So that also, like when I say no, no chocolate for breakfast, that also is like I'm still saying no, but I'm just not being I don't know how to put this but yes, I'm saying it in a way that would help her feel, seen that, hey, okay, my mom gets me, she gets this feeling, and this happens often in my house, especially with cleaning up. So when I say that the room is dirty, she said I don't feel like cleaning up, and of course I can go into what you have to, but what I do first before that is that, yeah, you know, sometimes I don't feel like cleaning up either. Sometimes I just see a sink full of dishes and I feel like I don't want to do this. So I am kind of empathizing with her and saying that, hey, I get it. And what do you think will happen if I don't do the dishes? Then she says we will have no plates to eat. So then she is problem solving herself.

Speaker 2: 21:29

So sometimes we, as parents, go into the lecture mode where we feel the need to, you know, tell them no, that's not how it's done, that's you have to do this. But when we are coming from a place of empathy, we can invite cooperation and we can by just, you know, asking them what about cleaning up feels hard for you? Is it picking up the toys or putting them away? You know, okay, how about? We start small? We start with can you put away five blocks, you know? And then we do the orange tiles. So you know something like that, where we are taking it one step at a time, because this is how we build skills for them, right? So we are working with them, we are collaborating with them. So so, yeah, so empathy is like really, really it's like an empowered parent superpower.

Speaker 2: 22:20

If we can empathize, we can diffuse most of the power struggles and if we can just truly listen to what the child is saying instead of assuming what they said, that can, like, really help us, you know, have far less power struggles with our kids and you know also, we are modeling it for them, the better way of communicating it.

Speaker 2: 22:41

So sometimes I catch myself, like when I'm in a really angry zone and I'm screaming that no, we are not doing that. And if I catch myself, you know, we can always have a redo. I can always say that, hey, sorry, I don't like how I said that, let me try again. So I'm kind of also modeling it for her that we all lose it sometimes and we get angry and we get reactive, but we can always repair, we can always try again. So, yes, I feel like when we can listen truly and we can empathize, we can really have a wonderful relationship with our children and we can also model for them. You know how we can communicate to others as well, right, If we interrupt them every time they talk, we can't expect them to interrupt us when we talk with adults, which happens, right. So it's very important that if we are wanting to teach them some skills, that we are modeling it ourselves Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 23:51

Yeah, and I feel like you know. I feel like most people probably think you know I'm an empathetic person, you know. But what you said in the examples you gave, like getting ready for school, why are you whining about us? We do this every day and instead of like that's what we see right but understanding to them, these are valid feelings. This is a big deal to them Even though to us it's like this is our routine. This is what we do. You know what?

Speaker 1: 24:15

I mean, but to them it's a big deal and I think just being able to back up and see that that even if it's something that we think is silly. They shouldn't be upset over, right? Yes, that if they're upset about it, it is for a reason. Their little problems to us are big problems to them.

Speaker 2: 24:36

Absolutely, because, yeah, I've seen sometimes when my son cries about the blue bowl and because he didn't get the green bowl, it feels like what's the big deal? It's a bowl, but for them it is right, because how much autonomy do they have in a day? Right, that's one thing that they really want to decide what bowl they eat and come and take that away. So it's very important. Sometimes, like as parents, the problem is that we just see the tip of the iceberg, we don't kind of look beneath what's happening for them, and I think that is that often causes because we are only seeing this that, okay, you know what is the big deal? What if I just gave you some other bowl? The other bowl is gone for a wash, right, but if you can just pause for one second there and say that you really wanted the green bowl, it's in the wash, can we try some other bowl? Of course, they can still say, no, I only want that one, and then we just wash it and give it.

Speaker 2: 25:35

But it's basically what I'm trying to say is that we have to sometimes understand that what is the deeper need here? It's not about the bowl, it's about that they want control and that is something that is a shared human need. We all want control, right? Like if you, let's say, if your partner tells you that today you're sleeping on this side of the bed, I don't think we are going to appreciate that, like why, that's not my side, right? So we all kind of like control.

Speaker 2: 26:07

We all kind of like things in a certain way, and that is true for our kids. And you are right, like a lot of us while growing up had our positive feelings, validated and welcome, but whenever it was negative feelings, it was not really welcome. Right, you can't get so angry about this, right, like you have to share and you have to do this. So what happens is that you feel like, okay, so I'm not allowed to feel the way I want to feel what is naturally coming up for me, and that's how you learn to suppress and that's how you kind of the distance builds where you don't feel that it's safe to talk to my parent about this, right, and that's the kind of relationships Like, of course, like you still love your parents and they love you too, but it's just that when we can truly meet them where they're at, we create that safety where they feel safe enough to share their experience or challenges with us. Otherwise they will be like okay, my parent doesn't get me, you know, so I don't want to do it.

Speaker 1: 27:13

And that's the last thing we want as they become teenagers and all of that where we really need them to talk to us at times. You know Exactly.

Speaker 1: 27:20

So, I just wanted to like go back to one last thing before we wrap up. You said earlier that really stuck out to me about saying when we tell them, no, it's okay, like if they oh, you bumped your knee, you're okay, you're okay and creating that sense of self doubt. I've never thought about that, I've never heard that idea before, and that is so. I think we all want, more than anything, to raise happy, confident, kind humans, right? Yes, so just such a little thing of creating self doubt in them that's going to affect their confidence is that's huge. So I'm so glad you gave that example and that is brand new to me and it's like made my brain go like oh, wow, you know, that's the last thing we want is to create self doubt in our children.

Speaker 2: 28:03

Yeah, and often, like, sometimes, like, the check I do with myself these days is that, would I say that to an adult, right, right, like, I'll probably not say that to an adult, so why is it okay to say to a child, right, it's hurting for them. So I'm not saying, like, make a big deal and make them more self conscious, but, yes, like, just acknowledge that. Ah, that hurt Like. You know, can I, can I help? Can I, you know, offer you an ice pack, or can I give you a kiss or a hug? So often we do that also, but it's just that we miss the first step, which is empathizing. And also, I think the fixer is the is something that often comes up with most parents, because they just want to, like, get it Right, right Like, they want to fix it, like our child shouldn't face any problems in life. It's just very, it's coming from a very good place, but it doesn't really set them up for success. And and while I say that, you know about the empathy, that the only way we can welcome their negative feelings is by first of all, understanding for ourselves that all feelings are valid and welcome. My negative feelings are valid and welcome, and their negative feelings are valid and welcome. And so, you know, true empathy can only come when we also have self empathy, and often a lot of us don't practice that with ourselves, right Like, that's hard for a lot of us to really empathize and understand. Hey, yeah, I did that because you know, like I said, that we feel the guilt when we snap at our kids but we don't recognize. Hey, but I haven't slept in days and I'm probably really exhausted. Or you know, I had one meal without getting up 15 times during the meal. So it's just like you know, offering ourselves that grace and also to our kids, and it's when it's so when I see that whole space for their feelings.

Speaker 2: 30:00

It's also important to communicate our feelings, right Like, I can tell my daughter that I am feeling really frustrated, that I have to pick up after everyone and I'm really longing for support. So I am clarifying what my feeling is without making her responsible. I'm not saying that I'm feeling disappointed because you never helped me, because that will put her. She will try to defend herself, like any human would. Right, like, if I say that to my husband, he would also probably. But hey, I picked up the trash, I did that, I did this.

Speaker 2: 30:32

So then, like the idea is to kind of owning our feelings and expressing what our feelings and what our needs are, without making that anyone else's responsibility. We can like if we, if we make demands, there are very few, like less, chances, because nobody likes being told what to do. Right, like if some. If my husband comes and tells me come on, do the dishes, probably I may not like that, but if he tells me that, hey, I see that you've had a long day and I saw the dishes on the kitchen counter, do you? If in a while, like you know, let's chat for a bit and then maybe in a while we can do it together, I'll be more receptive to that.

Speaker 2: 31:11

Like, if we feel bossed around constantly, it's not going to feel nice and so that's why, like it's also another thing and with communication is that it's very important to communicate without an agenda. Like we don't talk to our kids only when there is something wrong. That, hey, I noticed that the mornings are really hard Sometimes. Like what we can do is that we can just go and join them in whatever they're doing, like if they're little kids. Like if my daughter is just playing with a Lego or something I'm going to go build with her for a bit and, you know, literally have a good time before I bring up anything.

Speaker 2: 31:49

And then, once we are both feeling regulated, that's when I talk about, hey, I see that mornings are a little bit hard. What can we do to make it a bit, you know, smooth and comfortable for all of us? So Then she, she'd say some. So then she'll say something that, but I wanted to play in the morning. So then I say, okay, how about we go to bed early, so we wake up early and we have time for a game.

Speaker 2: 32:13

So then we are, you know, collaborating, we are, you know, understanding, and so I am expressing my concern that I, I'm sharing my value, I'm sharing my boundary, I'm sharing that I really like to be punctual. I don't like to, you know, go to places late and I don't want to, I don't want you to go to school late. So how can we make sure that you know your needs are met? My needs are met, right, right. So what is happening for you? Why is this difficult for you? So then she says that, yeah, because I don't feel like waking up, I'm feeling tired. And Then she said something like can I lie down on the couch while you eat breakfast for me, I said, sure, we can do that. So when I'm coming from a space of not attacking and Blaming this on her or accusing her, there is more room for collaboration. But when I come from a space of you know, I mean business and this needs to be done, there is more resistance.

Speaker 1: 33:12

Absolutely, as would be with anybody, like you said, right anytime we start a conversation like that, whether it be a partner, a child, a co-worker- Anything you know yeah, we're setting the stage for their reaction right there.

Speaker 2: 33:23

Yes, so so, first, like the like the non-violent communication has, like, four core pillars. So, first is like, observing and not evaluating. And the second is feelings understanding the your communication partners, feelings and also your feelings. And the third is understanding your needs. Right, like what? What is your needs? And not like, so need is essentially not not a strategy on how to meet the need like, but you're sharing that.

Speaker 2: 33:51

I would like more support in the house. I feel like I feel a little overwhelmed with the amount there is to, you know, clean up. So how are you willing to help me? So then, I am not saying that you have to do this, but I'm giving room for some choice and some control. Okay, these are the tasks that need to be done. Where are you willing to support me? Right, so, you know. So needs are stating that my need is support here. My need is like collaboration, my need is ease. I don't want to feel stressed and overworked and overwhelmed, so I'm sharing my feeling and my need.

Speaker 2: 34:26

And then we go into the last pillar, which is requests versus demands. Right, like, we are requesting, we are not making demands. Our request can be met with a no, and then we can Discuss further on how can we make my needs and your needs meet, right, like, if I say that, would you be willing to put the trash out? And if my, my daughter, says, and no, I don't enjoy doing that, can I do the laundry instead? So I would be like, okay, fine, we can try that, right so. So we have to kind of be not attached to the endgame, to the like, you know, the Desired result. We have to be also kind of flexible in how else can we be supported, right, like. And also it's very important that whatever we are asking from our kids is age-appropriate, it's not something that they're not capable of doing. So because that will just, you know, that will just make it Challenging, because they won't do it, and then we'll get annoyed again.

Speaker 1: 35:32

Yeah, it just adds to the frustration, right, the level of frustration there. Yeah, I think this was. I mean, this was really really helpful and yeah, you like give lots of tidbits and strategies that I'm taking away. I was taking notes as we chat and the things that I can start Implementing and you just opened my brain to seeing things in a different way. So I love the way you you stated things today. And, Trudy, you are a coach and you are offering something special to a few of our listeners, right? So if you're interested in meeting with Trudy and learning more and diving into this more on a personal level, you are, tell us a little bit about what what you're offering five of our listeners. I think yes.

Speaker 2: 36:11

So, the first five listeners, if this, you know, chat inspires you and you want to, you know, become more intentional in your parenting journey, you can send me a DM or you can send me a mail and I can offer you one free coaching session with whatever you're challenging, and the session will be like 45 minutes long and you can ask me anything. Any challenge that comes up for you.

Speaker 1: 36:38

Fantastic and we will link to all of that so it's super easy for people to to reach out to you and just let her know that you heard here here on speak out, stand out and are interested in learning more. So sure to you get really appreciate your insight, your expertise, your passion about this. It's very clear that this is really important to you and Helping other moms out there, because the more support we have, the better we all are.

Speaker 2: 37:01

Yeah, thank you so much for having me. I love doing this with you, thank you.

Speaker 1: 37:05

Thank you, yeah, thank you.