Speaker 1: 0:35

Welcome back to Speak Out. Stand Out. I'm Elizabeth Green and today's guest is Kimberly Grustus. Kimberly started Good For you Girls to keep girls away from toxic chemicals during puberty. She's been called the OG of tween skincare and it's not hard to see why. Good For you Girls was one of the first, or was the first, line of clean skincare dedicated to girls in the United States. Kim is also known as a thought leader in helping moms connect to their daughters during these precious and challenging years. I must say, kim, we're so excited to have you here. Thanks for taking the time to chat with us.

Speaker 2: 1:08

Thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 1: 1:10

So you created a clean line of skincare and I mean, was that your background? Did you go to school for esthetician stuff? How did you get to this?

Speaker 2: 1:19

stage. Yeah, so I'm actually a creative director by trade, but I was a fitness nut in the day and I worked for nutrition companies. So I worked with sport nutrition companies protein powders, amino acids, ingestibles so I was very well educated in how the body functions and the nutrition support that we need as athletes. So that's really where my background came from. When I left the nutrition industry I started my own advertising agency and it was just at the beginning. It was in 2000. And it was just in the beginning of the really natural products boom, like when the natural products really started taking off and I loved them because I was a fitness nut, I was all about clean, so I was fascinated by the technology and I was also fascinated by the brands and the passion behind it. So when I started my agency in 2000, four months later I was pregnant with my first daughter.

Speaker 2: 2:16

So great timing, right, right. Funny how that happens, yeah, so she was born with severe asthma and allergies. So we were running to the emergency room for breathing treatments, EpiPens. She had a very a condition with her airways would get triggered by sense or any slight virus and she would literally stop breathing. So it was. It was a rather scary thing. So when your kids are sick, as a mom you'll do anything to figure out what their triggers are and how to help them. And her triggers were anything respiratory. So no scents, no candles, no fragrances that's in any perfumes and candles and laundry detergent. Anything like that had to be completely eliminated from her world. So that really you know I was good on research because of what I did. So I really went down a rabbit hole and of ingredients and really understanding how toxic a lot of the ingredients and the products in our environment are. So we figured her out. She also had some food allergies and then two years later, my second daughter was born. She had also had some asthma, but she had a skin condition, she had a hive disorder and she had eczema. So now I'm a mom who's doing everything right, so okay. So why are my kids right? So then that was another rabbit hole, right about your skin, because my first daughter was all respiratory and then. So now we've got skin issues. So I just really just delve into as much knowledge as I could and then fast forward to 2008.

Speaker 2: 3:55

Is when everything started is my older daughter saw a bath set from Hannah Montana in Target and I remember Hannah, they loved Hannah Montana, and so you know, you know, I controlled everything that went in and on their bodies you know, they're six and eight at this point and she made a beeline to this bath set and she says mommy, mommy, can we buy this? And I flipped it over and, lo and behold, it was made in China. It had every dye, every like. You know, five lines of just dyes, chemicals, and I'm like, oh my gosh, it was such a wake up call Cause I'm like, is this what brands are slathering on our children? Right, it really scared me. So I was like, well, okay, I'm living in a bubble here, but not only is this what, you know, brands are putting on our children, it's that she's eight and she wants it. So that also, you know.

Speaker 2: 4:49

And I was, you know again, I was clean, but I was never like the earthy crunchy kind of Birkenstock. You know, natural mom, I was just the process of elimination, I was a very simple mom. You know, less is more kind of philosophy, and so it really got me thinking. And she went into early puberty, so it really got me thinking about again these chemicals on our daughters that are going through adolescence. And lo and behold, the environmental working group came out of study that year and they tested the blood and the urine of young girls and found toxic chemicals linked to personal care products in their blood and their urine. And the average girl is actually exposed to more chemicals than the average woman. Yeah, so it's really. It's now the thing.

Speaker 2: 5:40

The thing about um their bodies during puberty is it's a cascade. So the puberty starts in the hypothalamus and goes to the pituitary gland. You know most people, when we talk puberty, they think, oh, it's the reproductive organs, it's not. It's the blood, it's the bones, it's the brain. You know, it's everything that deals with growth, and your adrenal glands are also part of this. You know the system. So hormones are not bad. Hormones are amazing, and I want to change the language to be able to help. You know, change the language around hormones.

Speaker 2: 6:15

But when you introduce your body to a protein, to a fat, to a carbohydrate, your body knows what it is right.

Speaker 2: 6:23

So now you start introducing something foreign, whether it's a dye, whether it's a synthetic, you know as a synthetic fragrance, or if it's a preservative, a synthetic preservative. The closest chemical compound that your body thinks it is is estrogen. So that's why we refer to these chemicals as estrogenic chemicals and we now know that girls are entering puberty much earlier, right, and breast development used to happen with puberty, but now breast development is happening almost two years earlier. So what's happening is they're getting these fall signals of estrogen based on what they're eating internally and what they're getting exposed to externally. So the body is saying, okay, we're ready. Right, they're getting these signals. Now boys are not immune, because what you'll see in boys in middle school and when boys are in middle school, they'll have breasts, they'll develop breast buds and that's before their natural testosterone kicks in a little bit later and negates the estrogen. So both boys and girls, at this very tender age, are actually having responses to extra estrogen.

Speaker 1: 7:34

Wow, and so you saw this right. You saw, I don't want to put all these things on my daughter and that led you down the path of creating a product line without any of the junk in it, right?

Speaker 2: 7:45

Well, it's permission-based. You know, girls want something. They need Again, their lower sebum production starts at nine right. So I developed the line to really honor this rite of passage, because you don't want to say no, right, you want to say yes. You just want to say yes to the right stuff. I believe there's a psychological component to girls' needs in personal care and to take care of themselves, and I think we need to honor that and really encourage that, because that's the foundation.

Speaker 1: 8:21

So wonderful, and if they're showing interest in personal care and taking care of themselves, we want to be able to, you know, support them with the right products Right, and it seems like, especially today, I know, with social media and the TV and all the things that kids are exposed to today, that interest is starting so much earlier than it did, I'm sure, whenever I was a teenager, you know, I didn't. Besides, I wanted to wear makeup. That was it. I didn't care about washing my face or anything like that. And now we have very young girls that are wanting to buy these products that they're seeing influencers share and all of that, and, like you said, we don't want to be like, no, that's bad, because we do want them to learn how to take care of their skin and their bodies, but are we doing more harm than good when we're letting them use these things?

Speaker 2: 9:06

Yeah, no, we are. I mean, honestly, if it's the wrong product. So here's why, right? So, taking care of your skin, your body deodorant, all of that stuff is really, really good, but there's certain chemicals we know that are not good for anyone, right? So, adults or children. Those are things again like parabens, phthalates, propylene, pegs, polyethylene glycol anything with alcohol and I know consumers now are really versed on the pH of your skin or the natural microbiome.

Speaker 2: 9:38

Your skin is the largest organ and so it's there. It has a very important purpose and that's to protect in your body. Right, that is your first line of defense for things getting into your body. Now, again, exposure to these chemicals because they're building up in your system. But also, with young people, their skin. I mean it's crazy again, these influencers, because their skin is the goal, right? I mean you look at anti-aging like women, like we want their skin. Give me a pimple, give me a couple, but I'll take all the pimples in the world. Give me their luscious, juicy skin, right, and their skin is not meant to exfoliate as fast. We do not want cellular turnover. At their age they are supposed to have supple, oily skin. The sebum production is there for a reason, again to protect during growth. So what's happening is, if they're stripping, drying or irritating their skin and exfoliating it too fast, they're also exposing their skin to serious UV damage. And we know that they're not protecting their skin from the sun, right. So they really so. Any of these acids, beta hydroxy or alpha hydroxy acids and things like that really leave them for damage that they're not even going to see until they're late 20s, right? That's why it's critical that we say, hey, let's stop. Why do you want skincare? Right, let's address the why. And children are dealing with mostly bacterial acne, right. So they're in school all day, they're doing sports, they don't have access to water, they're not washing their face, they're leaning on their hands in school, right, it's not common that an 11-year-old or 12-year-old is dealing with some serious hormonal cystic acne. That doesn't mean that that doesn't happen, right. But for the most parts we're talking bacteria. So if we're getting rid of the dirt and the grime and addressing the bacteria without damaging the skin, we're setting up that microbiome to really protect them. So we're giving everything that they need without going overboard. And you know I am a very much on the less is more.

Speaker 2: 11:42

Our product line is, you know, three facial care items. Know, plus, toner pads for on the go, but it's cleanser, toner, moisturizer. Um, because we don't, we don't believe that girls need more than that. You know, yes, they need sunscreen. That's another thing. Um, we do not do sunscreen for a couple reasons and that's because we know girls don't apply, they don't reapply, right. Um, we don't like chemical sunscreens, we like mineral-based sunscreens, obviously, and that's a fight. That's a fight that parents are going to have to have with their kids. But, yeah, the dangers. Unfortunately, it's not just the dryness and irritation or the dermatitis that some of these chemical-laden products might give them. It's also the damage we can't see right now that they're doing for later damage.

Speaker 1: 12:32

And yeah, and that obviously is something we want to make sure that we're aware of and helping them prevent, because that doesn't seem important to most of us right now. We won't. Right now it's hard to look ahead and think about that. Well, so we've talked about the science side of things. Let's talk about how do we have these conversations with our kids and you mentioned earlier puberty is starting earlier and earlier with girls and boys, and this is a conversation that it's like the birds and the bees conversation, like we don't really want to have to have this conversation, but we do. How do we know when we should start addressing this and how do we do that? How do we?

Speaker 2: 13:08

normalize this conversation with our kids. It's so easy and I envy moms who have young children because you're just, it's so great. I wish you know what I mean. So when there's growth spurts, so when you're writing the line on the door right Every birthday, you're writing the line on the door, you see a growth spurt.

Speaker 2: 13:25

There's certain things that will happen with early puberty. So there might be aches and pains, meaning their bones are growing, so they'll have leg cramps. There's going to be a disruption at night. Their sleep patterns are going to change. That's the melatonin shift in their bodies.

Speaker 2: 13:41

Attachment issues, friends, that's a big one. So there's, all of a sudden, girls. They bounce around, blah, blah, blah, blah and then all of a sudden, it's a very serious thing Eat, sleep, breathe friends. Eat, sleep, breathe, friends, right. And they might have sort of attachment issues. Well, that's the cortisol that's coming and we call it the cuddle chemical. So it's an attachment hormone and that's again something that's going on in their brain. It might be a little bit of a stress, right, there might be stress, or a little bit of obsessive kind of behaviors. These are all signs of puberty, right, and not just the obvious signs, whether it's body odor or pubic hair or things like that. It can be emotional and behavioral, and I really get angry when I hear people talk about puberty. Now, yeah, suck it up and get over it. Puberty is an amazing thing and I believe that if girls and boys understood truly the remarkable things that their body is doing, that they will respect it. And it's good for parents to also be reminded about truly what's happening. I mean, their blood pressure is changing, the myelin sheath in their brain is. You know, all of the synapses are coming faster. They're having these outer body experiences. You know we see them as flights and behavioral issues, but it's an out of control. I had a very severe when I was young, like outer body experiences, so I remember that really, really well. So there's all of these things. So empathy as a parent, I think, is the first thing that we have to. We have to realize so when they start wanting to close the bathroom door, right, when we have those growth spurts.

Speaker 2: 15:24

It's now time to talk about hormones in a positive way, Like. Hormones are remarkable, right, and so, as women, we're going to be dealing with hormones our entire life, right, all the way through menopause. Hormones, hormones, hormones, right. Well, let's get comfortable with them. They're great, they're fascinating, they do some remarkable things and so I believe again, when girls feel proud of what their bodies are doing or capable, those are really easy conversations about growth. And then we can talk about hormones as it relates. Then the conversations are much easier when we talk about hormones as it relates to the reproductive system. So we're just naturally flowing and young children is six, seven, growth, oh my gosh, your hormones and all that stuff and your brain and your body and your blood and all of that. We can really start having those conversations lightly.

Speaker 1: 16:18

But how do we, especially for you like this is you live and breathe this stuff right, so you know the science behind it and you can talk about all these beautiful things that are happening, whereas for those of us who aren't as familiar, just know the very basics? You're going to get taller, you're going to start to period things like that Again, like how do we, what should we talk about with our kids? What is age appropriate for them? How are we going to have this conversation so that they even care?

Speaker 2: 16:45

Well, no, I think again, there's reality and it is keeping it age appropriate. Right, it is keeping it age appropriate and it's always checking in. How are you feeling? How are your bones? How are you? You know, any smelly, like it's natural, it's like? Are you noticing any body odor? And then bathing is. You know, bathing is a big deal right To teach them to bathe while they're still in your care. And you know running and you have boys, so you probably know the boys just like stand under the water and they don't even be like the pool in the summer?

Speaker 1: 17:14

is their shower right? We still have conversations about scrubbing your hair. You have to scrub it.

Speaker 2: 17:20

And so it's. You know a bar of soap is not going to cut it. You know you need to scrub. You know face cloth. I don't believe in soap because it's just more glycerin and it just runs off. You know, again, when you're using a face cloth gently, you're actually getting rid of the dead skin. You're rubbing under your armpits, in your privates, and it's really getting rid of the bacteria. And it's also for girls, super important for them to with a face cloth top to bottom. It's moving their lymphatic system to bottom. It's moving their lymphatic system. So when you're scrubbing under your armpits before you have breasts, because girls actually will start avoiding their breasts when they start growing in the shower and you really need them to start rubbing, you know, their armpits, because it is the whole drainage, the lymphatic system, and it's really just a great way to start.

Speaker 2: 18:05

You know talking about the again, the systems of the body, without without it being scary, right? So I think it's just. It's just the gentle conversation and the data is there. If you want to get really deep into the weeds and you want to talk specific hormones, then knock yourself out. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2: 18:25

One of the things that I'm actually concerned about, like for parents, if they watch like again, if they watch body odor really early or they watch pubic hair really really early, that might be a sign of the adrenal glands. And one of my concerns I'm waiting for some studies to come through to see some studies is kids are really stressed out more than ever, right, and so we know as adults how important the adrenal glands are. So if we've got stressed out kids, that might be putting extra stress on their adrenal glands. That might cause issues later down, you know, down the line. So it's really just being aware, I think, of how they're growing, um, if look normal, and if they don't look normal, feel normal and you're not having those little conversations you won't be able to identify, and if there is an issue, it might be too late for you to identify it.

Speaker 2: 19:18

And so right, and because there's that little, that specific window and I think I don't know bone growth if you're familiar with, if there's, if estrogen happens too much within that growth cycle, it actually shuts down the actual bone, the growth, quicker. So somebody who may be more expected to be taller will actually be shorter. It actually shuts. Yeah, there's growth, there's that window, and so too much of any particular, you know, particular estrogen actually will shut down the growth process.

Speaker 2: 19:51

So these are things that you, as a parent, again with babies, we research, we know, we read and we're prepared. And then all of a sudden, and this is the second largest growth since infancy, and you know, and so one of the other fascinating things again about bone growth and nutrition and it's all wrapped into this. So during puberty, the bone growth in girls, during puberty, what they are gaining is the actual same amount that women will lose in menopause. It's fascinating. So we want to make sure that we're doing things to support that bone growth because that's that window, right, that's a very important window for their future health.

Speaker 1: 20:33

We just look at it as they're getting taller. Look, oh my goodness, my baby. It's a Jack the Beanstalk thing, right.

Speaker 2: 20:37

It's like magic, it happens, but I think when you really, when you really get it and we can look at our own history we talked about, you know, we mentioned influencers. I want to give parents permission to be their child's influencer. You are, don't lose that role, right you? And that comes with knowledge, and knowledge is cool and you might, you know, they might say, hey, mom, that's pretty cool, you know what I mean. Those are those things I want to encourage parents and just have that open communication. And dads as well. I did a podcast with a dad and he's like how do I talk to my daughter about puberty?

Speaker 2: 21:11

I'm like you do, and words matter right and we just be very gentle in that conversation. And again, patience is critical when they get to that and I think that so many people think, okay, when they get crank'm just gonna let them go right. They, they sort of give up, and when those emotions surge, that's actually the time where you need to hold on a little tighter because that is telling you that they're feeling out of control. So those things I had a very different, my older daughter, she was great, didn't have emotional surges. My younger, younger daughter, she was a beast, she, she would get in those. And, um, we came up with a safe word. Um, I would say, are you in a pickle? Because her words, she just didn't know what to do with it. She would spiral and I didn't want to react because what she was saying was insulting or mean or whatever. So we came up with a safe word and said pickle, and we would walk and I knew exactly what it meant. Or she would say pickle, like she. Just she couldn't even articulate what she was feeling, the emotion she was having, and she knew that I was her safe place and that's.

Speaker 2: 22:21

The other thing is, you know, we forget that the more a child will lash out to you, except during puberty we're talking older, we're not talking eight year olds or whatever the more they feel safe. I know it feels counterintuitive, right. That's why they're yours, because they know you're not going to go away and that's a really good thing. You know as much as it hurts, but remember, we're the big people, we can handle it right, we can handle it. It remember, we're the big people, we can handle it right, we can handle it. It's okay and it's hot in the moment, but it will. You know it will even out.

Speaker 1: 22:51

I am so glad you brought that up. I was actually just having this conversation with my own mom the other day about my oldest son is 15 and he's like your, your younger daughter, right, like just very expressive, doesn't, doesn't quite know how to handle his emotions and and I I have that superpower of mom I can make my son mad just by saying good morning. And she was saying but you're his safe person, you're his safe place, and that's why and it is so important for us to hear that and remember it, because they can be very hurtful and it is very easy for us just to, instead of thoughtfully responding and remembering that.

Speaker 2: 23:31

And the best thing to do in that time is quiet, because then they're in their head and kids today don't get that. We've sort of robbed that process, you know, for them to go inward and to reflect, right, and so that's why, you know, I don't like the word timeout, because that's punishment, right Timeout. When they're little you don't take time out every take a time out. So that's why there's, you know, other communications which are good, meaning. We're giving them the ability to control it. We're putting the power into their hands. You know what I mean and we can take it and say you know what I'm going to walk away and you're good and go hang out in your room for a little while. We'll regroup. You know, in 15, 20 minutes or half an hour you come to me when you're ready to talk and you just reflect and so, yeah, it is and it goes.

Speaker 2: 24:13

It's so fleeting and that's why sometimes it seems like it's so daunting. It's never going to end, but it will, right, and that's why we need to make the right, we need to do the right things during that. Puberty has trauma and I think we will ask any woman she remembers, right, puberty has trauma, and those things will make a difference on how we react. And again, if you're reminded exactly how amazing what their bodies are going through, I think empathy is our friend.

Speaker 1: 24:49

Yeah, for sure. Yeah Well, so to kind of wrap things up here, what age would you say, like we talked about at the beginning? I'm kind of circling back to that, but we talked about young girls. Younger than ever are more and more interested in skincare. With yours specifically, what age do you recommend that we either start suggesting that our kids use it if they're not asking for it, or if they're asking for it? Is there a stage where no, you're not. You're too young, you don't need that yet?

Speaker 2: 25:15

How do we look at? Body care is important, so you're going to find like, if you use a, if you use a nice child's product, they're going to start wanting to work away from that because it's too kiddish, right, right. So body products are good about nice body wash Lotion is key, again, to keep your body. They sweat a lot, so there's a lot of skin dehydration. They don't realize in children. We slather our babies but we forget to slather them and so if your kid is itchy or having some redness, again so nice body wash, nice body lotion. We have a roll-on deodorant which actually uses probiotic technology, so it kills the bacteria that causes the odor. And that's also an important thing, you know. For you know, it's not you that's stinking, it's the bacteria that's stinking. Right For them to understand that it's not. The odor is not coming from you, it's coming from the bacteria, and even small children will understand that. So there's never, you know, seven-year-olds eight deodorant perfectly fine for a natural aluminum-free deodorant. Don't go, you know. And then again, like I said, sebum production starts at age nine and so if their skin is starting to get a little oily, things like that, you can introduce a facial care regimen. And if a girl really is starting makeup. We see makeup start around really 12 or 13.

Speaker 2: 26:25

My advice to parents is do not let them use makeup until they've got six months of a skincare routine under their belt. Do not introduce makeup and a skincare routine Because, again, when they're wanting to use makeup, we have to understand why. What is it you're trying to achieve? Why do you want it? Sometimes it's being left out that kind of thing.

Speaker 2: 26:44

But if you're now introducing makeup which most likely they're not using a really quality right, it's an inexpensive kind. They're just introducing bacteria. So give them a good skin regimen at night so that they can wash their face and be hydrated and if they're okay, comfortable doing that for about six months three to six months depending on their age then you can feel confident that they can start and do makeup the right way, that they already know how to wash it off and take care. And the other nice thing is you know once they start, if they start a skincare routine before the makeup, they might not want the makeup because their skin right the issues that they think they're going to be covering up with makeup or that makeup's going to do they won't have. Right, you're going to be eliminating some of that. That issue, right, that's also kind of a little secret weapon there too.

Speaker 1: 27:33

Well, and I love it because it kind of I feel like makeup is one of those things. I don't have girls right, but if I was going down that path, I would look at it as are you mature enough to to to use this, and if you can show me that you're mature enough to follow the skincare routine, then you're mature enough for that, too. I love it. It's kind of like earning it, showing I am ready for this instead of just-.

Speaker 2: 27:51

And I'm going to jump in.

Speaker 1: 27:51

You didn't ask me.

Speaker 2: 27:52

But I'm going to give your listeners one more little piece of advice, because I think this is super important when your kids are tweens, young teens.

Speaker 2: 28:00

Now is your time to also look at you. And what are you doing for self-care? Right? Because they're not going to, you know they're okay to be left alone and whatever. And you know we as moms always fall at the bottom of the barrel. And don't forget that your kids are watching you, and especially during these years, so they're going to watch how you're taking care of yourself. So I always encourage my moms get involved. Right, wash your face with her Start. I always encourage my moms get involved. Right, wash your face with her. Start. If you have neglected your own, you know your own self-care. Start now. Right, use that as a reminder that you know. Read the labels, watch chemicals, clean out your closet. Do it with her, pick some new stuff and then do that journey together and it's a really wonderful bonding experience.

Speaker 1: 28:47

I love it. Well, kim, this has been a great conversation, very enlightening. I learned a lot more than I really expected to going into this conversation, so we're super glad to have you here and tell us. Of course, we'll link to everything in the show notes, but just tell us a little bit more about where we can find you and what we can get.

Speaker 2: 29:04

It's simple. It's goodforyougirlscom all spelled out, and then there's an info. The link on the bottom is info at. If you want to reach out, those will come to me. So if you have questions about any situation that you're dealing with or want any specific answers, please feel free to reach out.

Speaker 1: 29:22

Fantastic. And again, you'll be able to find those links right in the show notes. So go check.