SPEAKER_01: 0:38

Welcome back to Speakout Standout. I'm Elizabeth Green, and today we are so excited to welcome Anna Tran today. Anna is a strategist and founder of Level Up with Anna, with but beyond her professional work helping leaders grow visibility through storytelling, she brings a deeply human perspective, which is what we're going to be talking about today, shaped by growing up as the oldest of six kids in a big close-knit family. So, Anna, thanks so much for being here. We're glad to chat with you today.

SPEAKER_00: 1:04

Yeah, wonderful to be here as well, Elizabeth. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01: 1:09

So I guess to start, how did growing up the oldest of six kids put you where you are today in your role and what you're passionate about?

SPEAKER_00: 1:18

Yeah, it's it's pretty crazy, I must say, but very lively. And um, the biggest thing is being able to one, be heard, uh, and second, learning how to listen and wait your turn and just find order out of chaos.

SPEAKER_01: 1:32

Right. And those are such important things. Um, I can imagine you you have to practice that a little bit more in a bigger family. So what a great thing. Well, today we specifically want to talk about a couple of things all centered around building that confidence and communication skills in our kids. But one of the things that you share with people is how to take a shy child to a self-assured child who is confident and can express themselves and use their voice with clarity and courage. All of that sounds great. But how do we actually do that? What does that look like?

SPEAKER_00: 2:05

Yeah, absolutely. So um with communication itself, um, not just in the corporate kind, um, but the kind that builds trust is you learn to listen before you speak and translate, you know, that chaos into calm, right? And and adding to that when when um from shy to self-assured, like building that confidence through tell storytelling, confidence starts with being heard. And whether if it's clients in a boardroom or with your child at the dinner table, um, this is very important just to ensure that they feel heard and that, you know, although they may ask a lot of questions or ramble on, you just want to be present with them.

SPEAKER_01: 2:51

Yeah. I would say, you know, one of the key things that we do at My Speech and Debate Coach is, you know, we teach speech and debate lessons, basic communication skills to kids. And um, I think that what we do isn't magic, but what we are are doing is just listening to them for the most part. And you can absolutely see that change in confidence, even in virtual classrooms, when kids are given an opportunity to share their thoughts and their opinions on, especially when it comes to real world topics, that we don't ask them very often. Well, what do you think about banning plastic bottled water? You know, they don't get asked these things very often. Um, but they have real ideas and opinions on them. And so I absolutely agree. Just giving them that space to communicate, I think that's the magic in what we do in our classes where we see that communication grow. So, so how do we, I mean, how do we make sure that they do feel listened to? Like, you know, we said we're busy, you know, we can't always give them our full attention, but what what should we do or what can we try to do in a tangible way to make sure they're feeling heard?

SPEAKER_00: 3:54

Absolutely. So um, I I totally agree with you too, asking them the the the questions that our our life um are about just life, right? And just giving them that self-assurance by turning storytelling into an everyday ritual. Um, and instead of asking how was your day uh, maybe try what moment made you feel proud of today and even just getting down to eye level with them and making that eye contact as well and speaking to them like they are an adult and you are genuinely wanting to learn something from them. I think that makes a huge difference.

SPEAKER_01: 4:28

It really, really does. I I absolutely I see this, I know exactly what you're saying. So you've mentioned storytelling a couple times though. What I mean, are we talking like reading books to kids with like storybooks, or what do you mean? What does that mean and how does that apply to parenting?

SPEAKER_00: 4:42

Yeah, no, not not just reading books, although that can help a child time travel and work on their creativity. However, um being able to articulate what they experience in a in a format that you know that guides the the listener, which is parent, um, is a is a skill as well. So we're helping them communicate through storytelling and effective storytelling as well. And being able to actively listen to your child and asking the right questions kind of to to guide them and assure them that, hey, you are listening, um, gives them the confidence to really open up and tap into their memory and tell the story fully as well.

SPEAKER_01: 5:27

So do you think that storytelling is something that we are all just like we innately know how to do? We just need to be given the opportunity, or is this something that we actively need to model for our kids in certain ways and think about the way that we're communicating with them as well?

SPEAKER_00: 5:42

Yeah, I uh honestly, I don't have children yet. However, being uh the oldest in a big uh big family, um just experiencing that with different siblings at different age groups, uh, I find that it is important. Um, so I'm speaking from that experience. I I can't wait to have children and do this as well. So I do understand the importance of making them feel heard and comfortable enough to actually want to tell a story. Because sometimes, you know, especially with teenagers, they're like, uh, I just had a day, that's it, like nothing happened.

SPEAKER_01: 6:20

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 6:21

So yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 6:22

Yeah, I can't. Every day my kids come home from school. And if I if I even bother to ask the question, how was your day? You know, I'm gonna get a fine, or meh, you know, and that's it, you know. So I like you have said, changing up the questions that we're asking them. What's something you felt proud of today? What's something you learned today that you didn't know? Who did you sit with at lunch? You know, just opening those open-ended questions. Sometimes you never know where it actually is going to lead, but you have to get them started first, right?

SPEAKER_00: 6:51

Absolutely. Yeah. I think that, you know, kids are a blessing as well. Um, we can always learn something from them. I'm to be honest, I I learn things from even my my pets and they don't even speak back to me.

SPEAKER_01: 7:04

So yes, for sure. You know, I that's what I say too about our classes. Um, when we give kids the opportunity to share, I always walk out learning something. Or if I didn't learn something new, they've they've come up with a point that I didn't consider in a debate or things like that. But um, I also always walk out of class feeling hopeful for the future because they're, you know, like for example, um, one of the questions we'll ask sometimes, like in an impromptu speech scenario, is if you had three wishes, or if you had a million dollars, you know, what would you do with it? And nine times out of ten, they use at least two of their wishes or most of the money for the good of others. They very rarely say, I would buy a, you know, I'd put in a pool, you know, they'd say something like, um, I would um uh buy big house for my parents so they could retire, you know, or I would make sure nobody went hungry if they had wishes. And so we can learn so much from them, but we can also really be enlightened and and like I said, they're just children are innately good, you know. And they if we if we give them the space to communicate things like that with us, like you said, we can learn things, but also it can just really help your mental health. It does for me, sure, for sure.

SPEAKER_00: 8:21

Oh yeah, it's so heartwarming.

SPEAKER_01: 8:24

Well, what other kind of tips, strategies, things like that that parents listening could say, I could start doing this better today to build confidence and communication skills in my kids.

SPEAKER_00: 8:35

Yeah, I would say oftentimes, and I can see myself falling for this as well, like we want to be our child's best friend, or for me, I'm I'm decades older than my youngest sister, and I want to be her best friend too. But I and um she's adorable. Like I would also treat her like my own child, and it's kind of we we sometimes want to treat them uh where we want to see them already, kind of like in a leadership role where you're you're training somebody to become uh the next level, like a manager physician, for example. Now we have to kind of let go of that and communicate with them in a way where they feel empowered and listened to, but we also give them the ability to flourish in that role, right? So not just talking down, but talking with.

SPEAKER_01: 9:30

Yeah, I I think that that's something that as parents, we it is hard to make that adjustment, you know, because when it when they're little and they need us to do everything for them, right? And then they start growing and they can do more and more with themselves and they really can start communicating their thoughts and ideas. It is a mental shift that we have to make that um, you know, like you said, instead of talking down, talking with, I love the way that you said that, and what you suggested earlier, getting down on their level and making eye contact. I honestly have not like actively thought about doing that. I'm sure I've made eye contact with my kids, you know, but I have not like actively thought about like maybe I should sit down whenever one of them's talking to me or something like that. So I'm absolutely gonna try that today. But we so you said we want to help them grow into the people that we're, you know, we're we're trying to, I don't want to say teach them to be. It's different when we're talking like leadership roles, right? We're training somebody, we're not training our children necessarily, but we do have to um uh uh acknowledge too that we can't train them to be what we want them to be. There we can't shape them to be this, you know, this thing, this this type of person that we want. And do you think does that affect um, you know, do you see similarities between what you do and training for leadership roles tied to parenting when it comes to things like that? That was a very convoluted question. Um tell me if it didn't make sense.

SPEAKER_00: 10:53

Oh no, I totally get where you're coming from and um not even just training staff, but also in sales situations where you're you're asking the the client, for example, and you're kind of guiding them to a solution, but you want to ask them the right questions, equipping with them the with uh equipping them with the right mindset or the right thought pattern to have in order to help them get to the solution and guiding them, but not necessarily telling them exactly what to do. You want to help them get there with the right questions and actively listening so that you can can ask the right questions that make sense to that aligns with their thinking as well. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 11:37

Oh yeah, I just to chime in on that too, from my experience. I can think of very specific examples when I've told my kids something that I want them to do versus like helping them figure it out on their own. Um, well, my during the lockdown, during COVID, I remember seeing um, oh my goodness, the word is gonna escape me right now, but they're they're videos where they're like pictures all stacked one to one after another. Um, it's not an actual video, it's just a bunch of images. So it makes it look like an image. Um, there is a name for it, it's not coming to me. Oh, but stop motion or something? Stop motion, yes, stop motion videos, yes. And I was like, you all should do this with your Legos. How cool would that be? Like something, just an activity for them to do. No, they weren't interested. Now, a few years later, my youngest son, what is he obsessed with? Stop motion videos, because he found it and thought that it was cool, not whenever mom suggested it. So I could absolutely um see the benefit in leading them where we want them to go as opposed to telling them. So another thing, all of us, right? Oh, I would be the same. Like I'm still this, I'm still that way to this day with my own mom. Um, but I think it's just nature. But another thing you talk about though is building confidence offline. And I know a lot of our listeners, your kids are not on social media at this point, but it's inevitable that it someday they will be with how you know integrated social media is into this world. If um, how do we uh prevent them from stacking their value from their social media, their online self? And the examples I think about are especially teen girls, um, and the and the like I feel like it was maybe on the social dilemma uh documentary or something. I remember seeing something about that and about how girls were so impacted by posting pictures of themselves and then how many likes they would get. And it absolutely affected their self-worth. How do we prevent that and make sure that our children know that who they are in this real world, this is what is important?

SPEAKER_00: 13:43

That's that's a scary one for me as well, especially when I do have kids and they grow up. But we I I I talk about these types of things with my husband all the time. Is that what kind of skills, what kind of mindset are we able to instill in our children or um equip them to navigate these types of scenarios in life, right? Um, even even overcoming um challenges or everyday problems. We're not gonna tell them the answers, we're gonna give them the equation, and then they can come up with the answer themselves based on the scenario. And making sure that they are so confident in themselves that they are aware of these thought patterns that that may arise. So um it's not even just this may sound funny, but it's not even just uh teenagers as well, like although my my sister's a teenager, I'm afraid of, um, but also even experiencing my mom figuring out or finding out about social media nowadays. And I'm like, mommy, gotta be careful, you know. Um, so just making sure you ask the right questions, but that it is enough to trigger the right um mindset for them to be aware of these type of things. Uh I mean, at the end of the day, I can't take the phone away and expect them to just listen. Um, because what if I give it back? How are they gonna overcome that next time?

SPEAKER_01: 15:14

Right, right. So switching gears just a little bit, I know you work with leaders and um growing their brands, growing their business, growing themselves. As parents, we want to be like you said you mentioned earlier, like our job is not to be our kid's best friend. Our kid, our job is to be their parent and a leader for them and our family so they can learn from us how to function in this world when they are adults. So, can you pull from some of the strategies that you give leaders in their business world that we could use as parents to be better leaders in our family?

SPEAKER_00: 15:51

Yeah, absolutely. So oftentimes I encounter brilliant minds, thought leaders, um, people who have been working years behind the scenes to achieve what they achieve. However, they are they reach a point where they're ready to scale their brand, but they don't even have any presence online. It's because they have a fear of being seen or um received the wrong way once they do, right? They don't want to be too flashy, you know. Um they want to be uh known as, you know, the person that just didn't uh gain success overnight, type of thing, right? So um tying that back, what parents can do is just encourage their kids to to um have a foundation, right? Just continue to if if you tell your story, it teaches your kids to share theirs, right? And not be afraid to just even share, you know, moments that you had throughout the day. Um, probably at the grocery store, who you bumped into, you know, sometimes I forgot my glasses, and I would walk up to a random stranger that looks like my husband, but it's not. And I'm like, you know, it's what kind of chicken you want, honey, but it's not. Yeah, it's things like that. Just don't be afraid of sharing stories. Um, but yeah, that's what I learned from working with uh amazing individuals is that you gotta overcome that um and just kind of lead by example.

SPEAKER_01: 17:22

Yeah, absolutely. Well, Anna, do you have any other tips, strategies, anything else that you want to share with our parents before we wrap up today about ways we can build confidence and communication skills, ways we can, you know, emulate it and and ways we can build that in our kids?

SPEAKER_00: 17:39

Yeah, absolutely. Um, I think a fun activity that um I also do with my team in the past um is a gratitude jar. And my mom used to do this when I was a kid too. She would uh fold origami um into stars and she would write quotes in them and we would open it up and we would read them. So it could be something like that. Each family member writes one that they're proud of or what they're thankful of each day, each week, each day, or monthly, and then just randomly choose one and Yeah, go over it.

SPEAKER_01: 18:12

I think I could definitely see too on a day where it's like things just aren't going right, you know, how valuable something like that would be. If like maybe your kid's going through a breakup or they're fighting with their best friend or something like that, to lean on something like that. Well, hey, let's look back at something that you are grateful for and to help them, you know, um, see that there are good things around them, even if they can't necessarily see them in the moment.

SPEAKER_00: 18:37

Absolutely. Yeah. Confidence is built in those quiet moments of being heard rather than just be like, hey, here's a solution trying to fix everything, just listening. Yeah. Yeah. So important.

SPEAKER_01: 18:51

Well, Anna, if anybody's interested, we will make sure we link to all of your socials and your website in the show notes, but tell us too where we can find you, what you offer if anybody's interested in exploring more.

SPEAKER_00: 19:01

Absolutely. So on every platform, it's really simple. It's level up with Anna, Anna with two N's. Um, so and the website's levelup with Anna.com as well. So that's great.

SPEAKER_01: 19:12

And tell us a little bit more quickly about what you do, what you offer.

SPEAKER_00: 19:16

Yeah, so for me, I help amazing individuals, mainly coaches, consultants, business owners that are that feel invisible get the visibility and awareness that they like, um, getting featured on media coverage that they need in order to level up their brand. So, um, but at the end of the day, for me, everything must be aligned, everything must be purposeful. So that's what I I I love doing what I do is helping those tell their stories ethically and connect with their target audience. All right, that's great.

SPEAKER_01: 19:49

Well, Anna, we really appreciate your time. Thanks for being here today. And again, all the information will be in the show notes if you're interested in checking out more. Thanks for listening. Thank you so much.